I firmly believe that privacy is both inconsequential and unimportant to you. If it were not, you probably would not have a Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn account: and you certainly wouldn’t ever use a search engine like Google. If you’re one of those tin-foil-hat wearing crazies that actually cares about privacy: stop using our services and get a life.
I agree with Mark Zuckerberg when he pithily opined “The age of Privacy is Over.”
1. I actually do not care about your private information. Which is why I don’t collect any of it. I care about being self-reliant, which means I do not need to sell any information about you, if you feel the need to sue someone because they have mis-used information about you, stop sharing that information, your a moron.
2. You may think of using anything on the internet as the privacy equivalent of living in a webcam fitted glass house under the unblinking eye of Big Brother: you have no privacy on the internet, and even using TOR Onion, VPNs and other services won’t really help. If anyone can use any of your details to legally make a profit, they probably will.
3. Hackers from North Korea will track and log everything they can about all the dirty (and clean) things you do and like with cookies, GPS, secure connections and/or whatever technology exists today, or becomes available at any time in the future, and sell it on the dark web to other hackers. Only an idiot would use their real names, credit cards, bank information, and personal details on the internet. Yes, I just called you an idiot. Your also likely one of those people needing a “safe place” where guns are not allowed, you can find such a place in China, or if you don’t want to leave the USA move to Detroit or Chicago.
4. By using any service, even shopping at Walmart, you grant everyone in public permission to surgically implant a tracking microchip of their choosing in your body and sell all collected information to the highest bidder . . . and to all other bidders. You also agree to regular updates and reinstalls of said device entirely at their discretion for up to 75 years after the end of your natural life. You also agree that if they decide that you are costing them money or profit to terminate that device, and you along with it. If you think these statements are just satire, just wait, there are things that no-one ever thought would be allowed that are being done right now, and even encouraged, by people just like you. (Read the Constitution of the United States if you don’t believe me.)
5. If the opportunity arises to sell or otherwise use this or any information, data or meta data about you or your worldview, I will jump at that opportunity like a pitbull on a fresh steak, and donate that money to the Republican Party of the United States, or any other party that I think you would never vote for but I would.
6. Please post to Facebook and tell everyone all of your secrets. Everyone may, at their sole discretion (or lack thereof), broadcast, reveal, sell, manipulate, or otherwise use these secrets, or any information they collect to their benefit whenever, wherever, and however they choose.
7. I am right now looking at you through your web-cam. I know where you live, your real name, and how much money make. If the prior statements are not true, it’s because in addition to everything else, I reserve the right to lie to you, and you agree to believe me and hold me harmless for any and all such lies. Furthermore, if I am not recording everything you’re doing through your web-cam, it’s either because I haven’t figured out how, you’re just not that interesting, or both. For the record, and I do really mean this, if you join the chat room, and I send you a private message with your personal information, it was to freak you out and no other reason. Using your HAM radio call sign in a public non-encrypted chat-room is so stupid I get tired of telling people to not do it. From now on, anyone gives me enough information directly or indirectly about their lives that should not be given to strangers, I will immediately, when I have to money, send them a copy of the cheapest porn video I can find in a transparent package by snail mail.
8. I am serious about all of the above. So don’t go trying to sue me later with some nonsense like “I thought that was all satire.” All your privacy are belongs to me. I mean it. If you really want to protect your privacy, create a Delaware LLC, and hide everything you can via an agent proxy, stop using your real name, and learn to do things yourself.
9. Cookies: I like coconut cookies. You agree to furnish any friend, family, or visitor to any site on the net, with fresh coconut cookies upon request. That’s the price of using my personal sites (in addition to any other price I come up with).
10. Spam: I hate spam. I hate the semi-meat product, and the email version. Those that send me spam will get what they deserve… now here is something you must pay attention too… I do not accept member ship sign ups to www.danwolfe.me, there is nothing here for you to see other then what you can see with out a login, therefore anyone who uses WatchDog to try to register on my personal sites are in for a surprise. WatchDog is not real. It’s a honey trap. Google it.
Special Thanks to: MATTHEW T EINSTEIN, and ANDREW CORLEY, (Yes, I know who you are too.)